April Fool’s Recipe
My theory is twofold: If hoaxes are judged by the number of people duped, how many people have slaved over these little biscuits, the recipe for which was published in a weekend broadsheet? Answer: possibly more than one. How many people thought they had poisoned their boss? OK, OK, I might be the only one. Therefore, if the aim of an April fool’s prank is to embarrass the gullible, then I have got the perfect recipe for the day.
Let me start from the beginning, then you could try to bake these little cookies. They take no time to bake, and if they taste like what you think they should, I shall eat my baking tray. Oops, mistake, dropped the “h,” I shall heat my baking tray. I know, I know, it does not conjure the same fun, but I was tricked once already.
Let me tell you how: I spotted this recipe over a weekend. Since I had my induction meeting with the network the following Monday, I thought, ”What better gesture than to bake these lovely ‘marmalade buttons’?” I used ground rice. I displayed them on a presentation plate. I put my offering in the middle of the meeting table, only to observe all participants crunching away while their noses twitched. Next thing I knew, the boss had disappeared. Had I poisoned her?
I contacted a baker friend of mine, who advised me to use semolina or, even better, crushed almonds instead of ground rice. Then the boss reappeared. I tried once more, this time with semolina. They still did not taste how I thought they should — though I hasten to add that they always tasted nice. Slightly too soft on retrial.
So, will you give it a go and try Dan Lepard’s Marmalade Buttons on April Fool’s Day?
Marmalade Buttons
- 100g unsalted butter
- 50g caster sugar
- 50g good marmalade
- 100g mixed peel
- 100g plain flour
- 100g ground rice or semolina
- Demerara sugar
Beat together the butter and sugar until smooth, then add the marmalade and mixed peel and beat until combined. Stir in the flour and ground rice; knead in the bowl until you have a smooth dough, then roll into a cylinder about 25 cm long. Wrap in clingfilm and chill until firm.
Heat the oven to 170 degrees C (150 degrees C fan-assisted)/325 degrees F/gas mark 3. Line a baking sheet with nonstick baking parchment. Unwrap the dough and rub with a little water to moisten. Tip some demerara sugar onto a plate and roll the dough in it to form a crust. Slice the dough into 0.75 cm discs, lay them a few centimeters apart on the tray, and bake for 15 to 20 minutes, until pale golden brown.
